


Whiskey Princess

by keepitsweet



Category: All Time Low, Demi Lovato (Musician)
Genre: Aha, F/M, another poorly written long ass one shot, lots of return he favor and backseat serenade references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 04:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1885335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepitsweet/pseuds/keepitsweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex doesn’t really know when he starts developing feelings for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whiskey Princess

Alex doesn’t really know when he starts developing feelings for her.

Like, it’s not that he never felt anyting for her. He’d be lying if he said he never found her cute and beautiful and funny and super talented. But they’ve been friends for a long time, he doesn’t want to throw that away. So when she kisses him, he doesn’t really mind.

They’re hanging out with friends and both are a bit -more like really- drunk. They are laughing, dancing -closer than two friends would- and just having a good time. He’s hugging her by her hips, kind of singing along to a song they’re both listening for the first time. She’s looking into his eyes and he almost loses his balance because he knew she had pretty eyes but he never thought brown eyes could hypnotize him like hers. The smile on her face disappears and she drops her drink -purporseley or not, he doesn’t know and he doesn’t care-. She smiles again, biting her bottom lip. Her arms wrap around his neck pulling him down and closer. He thinks she might be even shorter than Lisa and he curses for even thinking about her. He doesn’t move, just waits for her next step. He doesn’t want to force her into doing something she might regret. So she’s the one who kisses him. And he kisses back, obviously. He’s not an idiot.

She tastes like vodka and cherry lipgloss and he wants more and more.

She takes him by the hand and he lets himself get dragged to the bathroom. She locks the door and kisses him again. He can barely hold himseld up, doubting whether it’s the alcohol or her mouth on his neck and her hands underneath his t-shirt.

He fucks her in somebody’s bathroom. He wishes he could call it “making love” but it’s not. It's just sex. He’s okay with it though.

*

She calls him. He answers. She asks him to come around. He agrees. They fuck. He leaves. Sometimes it's the other way around. 

That’s exactly what their relation-… friendsh-… whatever that they have consists of.

And repeat.

At first it confuses him because he doesn’t know what they exactly are. So he asks her what they are while lying on bed after another round of -increible and breathtaking- sex. Her head is on his chest and he’s caressing her caramel locks. He feels amazing. It feels amazing to be with her because her lips are amazing, her hair is amazing, her voice is amazing, sex with her is amazing. She is amazing. But then he thinks of where are they on their relationship and he doesn’t feel as amazing anymore.

“We’re friends.” she says, drawing God knows what on his chest with her finger. He thinks of the things her hands are capable of doing and he feels his erection growing under the sheet. Again.

“Friends?” he asks her trying to focus on their conversation, but it’s getting difficult with her naked, straddling his waist and her lips making their way up from his chest to his neck.

“Friends who like to fuck.” she murmurs against his earlob.

“Just friends?” he gulps when she faces him, her lips too close to his, and her eyes meet his.

“Just friends and no strings.” then she kisses him and he forgets about what she just said because her lips and her tongue drive him crazy so he kisses her back and feels like an idiot when she leaves.

*

Alex decides he’s stupid as fuck and he feels like she’s just using him. That he doesn’t mean shit to her. He decides he’s going to stop it all. He decides that he’s going to end whatever he has with Demi. It’s not his ego, it’s his pride. He’s not a piece of shit and he’s much more than just a bootycall.

He doesn’t answer any of her calls and avoids her.

That’s why when she shows up in his house, he cannot help but be surprised.

“What are you doing here?” he asks her the moment he opens the door.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” she smiles, rises an eyebrow and crosses her arms over her chest.

'No, of course I’m not going to let you in, you fucking-'

“Sure.” he closes the door after she enters and rests his forehead against it for a few seconds, praying to God he gives him strenght -he’s not even fucking christian- before he turns around to face her.

“So…” she says sitting on the kitchen counter. He doesn’t want to meet her gaze so he looks anywhere else. He feels the need to punch himself when his eyes go straight to her legs. She’s wearing a white floral sundress that contrasts with her tanned skin and her legs look so smooth. He remembers how they felt wrapped around his waist while he was pounding in and out, making her moan and scream a few days ago. He shakes the thought out of his head.

“So…”

“Have you been busy?” she asks, not taking her eyes off of him. She takes a strand of light brown hair and places it behind her ear. He wishes he would’ve done that.

“Er, not really. Why?” he knows why.

“Because you haven’t answered my calls.” She gets off the counter and approaches him slowly and dangerously.

“I know.” she stops when she’s in front of him.

“Why haven’t you answered my calls?” she’s not amused and he can tell because her eyes look mad. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Because I don’t want to keep doing this.” he gulps when she frowns.

“Doing what?”

“You know what. This.” he points at her and then at himself. She rises her eyebrows and takes one step back.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Not really.

“That’s a pity, because…” she reaches behind her and he curses again and again internally when he realizes exactly what she’s doing. “I forgot my underwear home.” then her dress was on the floor and she was completely naked in front of him.

He takes her in his arms and fucks her on the kitchen counter, the couch, his bed and every place he can. He forgot how much he needed it. How much he needs her. Then she leaves and he hates himself.

*

Alex thinks he might start going crazy. He doesn’t know what he feels, he doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t know what to do.

He loves being with her. He loves having sex with her. It’s great. It’s amazing. The best sex he’s ever had. But he starts to get scared when he starts to love the after-sex more then the actual sex. He loves those moments when he can hold her inside his arms, all sweaty and breathless. He loves just feeling her body close to his. He likes watching her falling asleep. Whatever. He just likes seeing her head on his chest and her eyes closing and her breathing calming down. Only then he can sleep. It makes him feel like she's his, even though he knows she's not. Maybe it’s because he feels safe. Maybe it’s because that way he knows that she won’t leave without him knowing. Maybe its because that way he knows she just won’t leave.

So when he’s with her, he feels like he’s flying, and rainbows and unicorns and shit.

But then she disappears and he feels like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. He feels worthless and he reminds himself to not let her do it again. But every he attempts forgetting her, he fails miserably.

He thinks that maybe, just maybe it’s not that he doesn’t want to be friends with her. Maybe, he wants to be more than that.

*

He hasn’t seen her in a month because she’s on tour with her ex -he doesn’t want to admit he’s jealous so he just doesn’t- and he’s doing a great job at not thinking about her. Even Jack congratulates him on it. He’s doing good without her which surprises him a lot.

He’s on his couch, watching an old sitcom when somebody knocks on the door. He’s thinking about not opening the door but he manages to get up and walk to it.

He wishes he would’ve stayed on the couch.

“Demi, what…?” he was interrupted by her pulling him by the neck to her mouth. He kisses her back and he forgets that he was supossed not to. He takes her face between his hands and stops kissing her when his fingertips meet her wet cheeks. He frowns and pulls away. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” she wipes her tears with one hand swiftly before trying to kiss him again. But this time, he doesn't let her.

“Nothing?" it’s hard to concentrate on getting out coherent words when she’s biting his neck and her hands are trying to unzip his jeans.

“Just drop it, okay? I need a friend.” she’s about to pull her shirt off but he stops her.

“A friend?”

“I need you right now.”

“Do you? Do you really need me? Or do you just need my dick?” she looks at him confused.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? What the fuck am I to you?” he doesn’t realize he’s rising his voice until his dog starts barking. She takes his face between her hands and she looks for his eyes.

“Alex, I just need you to make me forget about everything, okay? You're the only one who can do that.” he avoids her eyes by closing his. “Please, Alex. Please.”

It’s amazing the spell she has under him. It’s amazing how she has him wrapped around her finger and how she can manipulate him like no other.

'Please, Alex. Please.'

That’s what sends him over the edge. That’s what makes him kiss her this time and do exactly what she wants.

He’s always been a miserable asshole, anyway.

*

He starts writing songs about her because it’s the only way he can feel better about it.

He doesn’t want to tell Jack, or Ryan or Zack because he knows they’ll make fun of him for falling in love with a girl who made it clear to him that she just wanted sex. So he just writes. He looks at her while he writes. Not that she knows, obviously. He writes when she’s asleep on his bed, naked.

He knows that the reason that she does what she does to him is because she’s not okay. He knows she’s fucked up. And she knows relying on men and sex is the only thing that can make her feel loved. That’s why he can’t hate her. Because he knows she’s as fucked up as he is and he understands. He’s also happy making her feel good when she doesn’t feel okay so whatever. But what about him? He knows she doesn’t think about him. She doesn’t care about his feelings -or anyone's really- and she doesn’t care about how he's doing.

He just wishes she would return the favor.

*

She stops calling him. She doesn’t even tell him it’s over -what was over anyway? They had nothing going on-. She just disappears. And when she does, his world comes crashing down.

Isn’t that what he wanted though? To throw her out of his life? To never see her again so he could stop suffering?

He tries to convince himself that that’s what he wanted.

But when he looks at the side of the bed she used to ‘share’ with him, deep down, he wants her back. Even if she doesn’t feel the same. He’d go back to the hurting if that meant having her to himself again.

A few months later he’s watching TV when he hears the news. He doesn’t know how to reach out fo her because she won’t probably be able to receive visits from friends-nonfriends-friendswithbenefits-whatever- in rehab. He texts her asking her if she’s okay and he feels like an asshole again

*

Three months later she’s out of treatment. He’s happy to see she’s doing well. He really is. He’s happier to see her answering his text back.

'Better than ever :D'

He smiles. He wishes he could say the same.

*

They’ve been texting/tweeting each other back and forth. Promoting each other’s albums, wishing each other happy birthday. They even hung out a few times but that was it. They haven’t talked about what happened a year ago.

Alex is kind of happy they haven’t.

*

Four years later, Alex thinks his life couldn’t be better. He’s back with Lisa, he’s making music, he’s touring and he’s happy.

He hasn’t talked to Demi in three years and he doesn’t really want to anyway. He hears she’s dating some thirty-something dude that apparently makes her very happy, too. So he’s happy for her. He has forgotten about her completely. She hasn’t even crossed his mind in three years which is the biggest improvement in his life.

And then she reappears in his life and the feelings he thought were burried are not as burried anymore.

*

It’s all Jack’s fault anyway. Like, he knows it’s Jack’s birthday and not his but still he can’t help but be mad he invited her. Because now he’s fucked.

He spots her in the crowd, hugging old friends. He could spot her in any room full of people. He feels his heart skipping a beat. He thinks that she looks more stunning that she’s ever looked. And she’s always been stunning.

He drinks his cup fast and asks for another one. And another one. He grips Lisa’s waist and brings her closer to him, kind of to remind himself that he’s dating a beautiful girl and that he’s okay. But he’s not. Lisa looks at him frowning and asks him what’s wrong. He doesn’t answer because Demi looks his way and their eyes meet. He feels his head spin around and he doubts it’s because of the alcohol. He knows it’s because of her because only she has that effect of him. The effect of making everything around him disappearing. She smiles and waves at him. He manages to let a small, awkward and forced smile before telling Lisa a lame excuse about needing fresh air.

Then he’s out.

*

He’s found a balcony and he is actually taking some fresh air like he said, because he realized he needs to.

It’s always like this when she’s in the same room. He pretty much forgets how he's supposed to breath. He runs his fingers through his hair and tries to calm himself down.

It’s okay.

He breathes in and out.

Nothing’s wrong.

He breathes in and out again.

She’s just an old friend.

But even he knows that’s bullshit.

*

“Hey.” he doesn’t even need to turn around to recognize her voice. He clears his throat before speaking.

“Hey.”

“We’re about to sing Happy Birthday to Jack. Rian told me to look for you.”

'Rian, you son of a bitch.'

He takes a deep breath and turns around. He wishes he hadn’t because she looks so beautiful, with her long, light brown hair and her dark brown eyes and that navy blue dress hugging her curves.

“Yeah, I was about to go back.”

“So… How have you been?”

“Awesome. How about you?”

“Great.”

He nods and looks away and she does the same. There’s an awkward silence and he’s seriously contemplating throwing himself off the balcony.

“Can we hug?” she says. He looks at her, biting her bottom lip nervously.

Throwing himself off the balcony couldn’t be more painful than this.

But he hugs her anyway and all of the negative feelings he had from the moment he saw her vanished. He embraces her small frame between his bigger one and her scent gets caught in his nostrils and it intoxicates him. He feels like passing out and blames it on the alcohol, although he knows she’s the only one to blame.

*

He doesn’t think he’s going to see Demi after the party but he does because Jack has decided to phone her everytime they have a day off to hang out. So he has to bite the inside of his cheek everytime she’s around. It’s pretty funny she only appears in his life when he’s completeley happy and she’s completely single.

He hates seeing his friends falling in love with her although he knows not falling in love with her it’s pretty difficult. He knows how beautiful and funny she is and how incredible her laugh is. And what an incredible singer she is -he also knows she’s not as perfect as she looks, he knows there’s still a dark cloud over her head and that it will probably never go away and he knows that was one of the main reasons she fucked him up-. He knows exactly why his friends would want to keep hanging out with her. She really is something special. He knows. He just hates it.

He also hates that he can feel himself falling in love with her again and he has to do anything to remind himself not to. But he can’t help it. She’s a thorn in his heart that he won’t ever take away.

He tries to hide it as best as he can. He tries to hide that he still loves her the best he can. He even tries to hide it from himself. He tries to convince himself that it’s just resentment for what she did. But he fails again.

The first one to notice is Jack, who approaches him one day at soundcheck after singing a new song Alex has written about Demi. He puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him that the only one he’s lying to is himself and that he should face his feelings.

Then Lisa confronts him one day. She tells him she can’t stand what’s going on and that she wants to end the relationship. He tries to sound shocked although deep down he knows that day would come eventually. At the end, he sighs and finally asks her if Jack told her. She tells him nobody told her. Then he asks her how did she know and she tells him: “Because you look at her the same you used to look at me.”

*

Alex feels miserable. He hasn’t left the house, hasn’t shaved, hasn’t showered in a week. There are over fifteen messages on the answering machine and all he does is drink beer and watch TV.

He doesn’t know how or why but everytime Demi reappears in his life, she destroys everything around him.

Then she shows up. He opens the door and is about to tell her to go away but she kisses him first. He hasn’t tasted those lips in years and they still have the same ability to shut him up. They taste better than the last time because she’s not wearing lipgloss, she doesn’t taste like alcohol. It tastes like Demi and there is no better flavor than Demi.

He doesn’t give a shit that he hates her because he also loves her and is crazy for her. She owns him for making him fall in love with her and then breaking his heart. She owns him for entering his life again. She owns him for making Lisa break up with him. She owns him for making his life a living hell.

So he presses her to his body while closing the door and throwing her up against the wall. Her tongue is moving along with his desperately while her hands lift his shirt over his head.

“I haven’t showered in days.” he says kissing her neck. She giggles and his heart stops at the sound.

“Let’s take a shower then.”

*

When he wakes up, she’s not there. It’s like she was never there. He thinks she might be in the bathroom or downstairs making him breakfast like he has dreamed of so many times. But she’s nowhere to be found and he literally does not believe he’s such a fool. He can’t believe she did the same thing she did to him five years ago.

He buries his head in his pillow and he starts crying.

He’s a grown ass man crying over a girl.

He hates himself for it but there’s nothing else he can do about it. All there is to do is cry. He keeps telling himself that he’s not a bad guy and that he doesn’t dereve this shit.

*

He’s standing outsite her house, ready to confront her -Jack and Josh’s idea-. He wants her to know how bad she’s hurt him. He wants her feel as bad as he does. He knocks on her door. She doesn’t answer. He knocks again and she still doesn’t answer. The third time he knocks and she doesn’t answer, he turns around and is about to start walking when he hears her voice.

“Alex?” his whole body tenses. Five minutes ago he was preparing to yell in her face how much he hates her -no really- and now he can’t even turn around.

When he does, he finds her with a worried expression.

“Come in.” he enters her apartment without looking at her. She closes the door behind him and tells him to sit on the couch. He briefly observes her apartment before sitting down. She sits down next to him, facing him playing with the hem of her oversized hoodie. He doesn’t know where to begin with so he stays silent looking straigh aheadwhile an awkward silence fills the room.

“Is anything wrong?” that catches him off guard. He can’t believe she has the nerve to ask him if anything was wrong.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she raises her eyebrows, surprised. “You… You show up in my house. You sleep with me. You leave. Again. And now you’re asking me if anything’s wrong?” he turns to look at her but immediately regrets his decision when he sees her eyes fixed on him. She opens her mouth to speak but he interrupts her before she can say anything. “You are unbelievable.” he stands up, running his fingers through his hair, pacing around. “You can’t fuck with people’s feelings like that.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” she doesn’t look at him when she says it. He laughs, although he’s not amused at all.

“No, you’re fucking not. That’s the worst thing. You know what? I thought you actually had feelings for me. I thought you liked me more than just a friend. You really made me think there was something special between us.”

“There is something special…” she murmurs while still playing with the hem of her hoodie.

“No, stop. Don’t do this again. I already know how it goes. You give me false hopes and then walk away.” she shakes her head.

“You don’t understand.”

“Yes, I unde-Fuck, could you at least look at me while I’m talking to you?” she doesn’t though. She stands up, with her head down and tries to walk past him but he takes her by the elbow with a firm grip but trying to to hurt her. “Demi, look at me.”

“Alex, just leave okay? I know exactly what I did. I’m sorry.” she’s trying to let of of his hold but he won’t let her.

“No, I’m not as good at leaving as you are.” she finally looks up and wipes her tears angirly. He should be happy she’s crying, he should be happy she’s feeling what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t. He hates himself for making her cry.

“What the fuck do you want from me, huh? I already said I’m sorry. Just fucking leave.” she raises her voice while her tears keep falling.

“I want you to tell me why you left. I want you to tell me why the fuck did you do this to me. I want to hear what you’re feeling.” he raises his voice too and follows her when she starts walking to her bedroom.

“Leave me the fuck alone.”

“Alone is what you’re going to be in thirty years when you look around and realize everyone has left you for being a fucking scared and selfish brat.” he regrets it the moment the words start escaping his mouth. She turns around and the palm of her hand collides against his cheek. She doesn’t try to hide her tears anymore. Everything is silent until she gets closer to him and says:

“Do you want to know why I did what I did? Because I don’t fucking deserve you.” she stops talking before her voice breaks completely. “Yes, I used you in the past because I was a mess. I’m still a fucking mess. But that doesn’t mean I never cared for you. I haven’t felt what I feel for you since Wilmer broke up with me. Fuck, Alex. I’m in love with you. I never planned on going to your house and sleeping with you I just-”she sighs. “I’m not good enough for you Alex. It doesn’t matter how many times I try to convince myself I am, I’m not. That’s why I left that morning. So you don’t have to try to make me feel like shit. I already feel like shit everyday. I don’t expect you to forgive me and I don’t expect you to take me back, I actually hope you don’t-”

She was interrupted by Alex’s lips on hers. He pulls away and rests his forehead against hers.

“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.” she tells him before being kissed again.


End file.
